If love is in the air

Monday, December 31, 2007

wat a bad weekend i had. its really bad dat i myself cant tolerate wit. i almost lost dis relationship. i dun noe whether i am the problem here or its our problem dat i cant face. it is sad to say dat we dun have dat anger management. showing temper at each other, not letting out wat we actuali dun feel happy about. we always had the thinking dat others can read our mind.

juz keeping silent wont let everyting at ease but in fact, heating up the situation. dats our weakness. a weakness which we did talked about how to overcome but in the end, nothing was applied when it comes to the real thing. thereafter, same things occured.

in dis picture, i had the higher level of egoism. i always noe i am rite but wen he is wrong, i will say dat causes fire out of the flame. wen he is wrong, he will admit but put it as he is giving in. i noe i cant change him coz dats how he was brought up. i tried not to let it out hurting his feelings. but wen i didnt let it out, it caused pressure inside me n wen its going to burst, instead of letting it out in a positive way, in turns to negative. therefore, the war began.

i cant tell how far dis thing will go on dat way. its too frustrating to have my relationship as if like both of us were scooping out buckets of water throwing it out from a sinking ship in a strong tide not letting it drowned by the big waves.

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Saturday, December 22, 2007

mY pAst pt 2

dis is the part 2 of my past. well, talking abt the mat beside me, its normal. so we've met up n proceed to my fav club, tunnel!! n of coz i can see the the jealousy face from adek angkat kak ana wen he sees me wit hezri. too bad man. jgn shiok sendiri k. haha!

through halfway in the club, kak ana suddenly pulled me n introduced me to her guy's little brother who kak ana never mentioned abt. guess wat?? dat guy is the mat i sat nxt to juz now in the train!. haha! n of coz he teased me, 'tak bawak buku?' hmmm.. perli nampak.

we get along pretty well . i tot dat will be the end but the next day, he msg me. obviously, he took my number from kak ana. he came to my block wanted to see me. so dats wen our relationship started. it was sweet at first. in the morning on every weekend, he always wait for me under my void deck n we will go b'fast together. we met everyday even wen i wanted to go to the shp downstairs or bored at home, i will call him down to meet me. he introduced me to his family n spent sometimes over at his place.

after 6 mths, everything start to turns sour. he's always wit his werk n neglected me. i only spend time wit him at his place during his day off or his free time. wen i talked to him abt it, he will juz said dat he needs to werk in order to have money to go out wit me. but hey! everyone else do werk but still spend time wit their love ones not like him who had never take me out ever since i get to noe him. he always accused me having another affair for no reason. n wen he had to werk for one day not allowed to go back, he will accused me meeting other guys wen he is not around. wit all dis arguement, my love grew thinner. 2 days be my b'day, we quarrel again at his place. dis time i juz leave his house without a word. we did not contact each other the whole nite. on my b'day, not even his msg wishing me happy b'day. i was so furious dat i take dat its over between me n him. the day after, wen he called to check on me, i juz say dat our relationship has ended. he was mad wit my decision n accused me of having a scandal dat caused dis breakup. i juz hung up feeling great to have my freedom back.

a few days later, he msg me wanting me n begging me to take him back. but by then, there is no more feelings towards him n its impossible to have him back to my life. but he never gave up. he msg me almost everyday to check how am i doing n wanting to wait for me to open my heart for him. 'u are meant for me, i'm sori to neglect u n always put priority to my werk, i'm willing to change for u, i cant forget u' dats wat he always said to me to win my heart.

after awhile, i had a new guy, a few mths later, we broke up, new guy again, broke up again. everytime i bumped into him, it will be a different guy i am wit. nevertheless, he still wait for me. at one time, i do tink of giving him another chance since he willing to wait for me for almost 3 years even he saw me wit so many guys.

one nite, i called him dat i want to meet him. wit the happiness to his voice, he waited for me at my void deck. he brought me to dis place where we 1st met after the clubbing nite. he recapped on some of the things he missed so much abt me. like how he stopped me from scratching my body coz he noes i had a sensitive skin. i will leave some marks on my body wen i scratch. he noes i love to drag my slippers wen i walked. he way i always nagged at him wen he did sometink wrong.

wenever he tried to hold me, i will move back coz i noe i cant love him anymore. after dat, he bought me my fav drink n send me to my doorstep like he used to do. he kissed my forehead n said dat he was hoping dat he will meet me again. i juz smiled n turn away coz i noe dat will be my last time meeting him.

the nxt morning, he called me saying dat he was at my void deck n wanted to bring me 4 b'fast. but i juz turn him down. all he wanted was to see my face. but i stay firm not wanting t see him.

a year later, i told him dat i had found the right guy n i'm getting engaged. he sounds sad n told me to tink abt it again. i mean wat i said n told him to forget me. but he rebelled. until the nite wen we bumped n he saw me wit him. he juz smiled n dat was the last time i heard from him.

Purred at @ 11:06 PM 0 comments

mY pAst

sometimes i miss my old life. if only i could wish to rewind those times and do everyting all over again. but afterall, i love my current life now juz dat can i do wat i did again?? hehe

dis is not a story but wat had happened before. not to recap but to flashback. wth! haha

dis is wat u call fate.

i can clearly remember the night. i'm 18 n wat do u expect. legal age to go to dat night spot. u noe, i was tiny winy bit of fanatic back den n it was my 3rd night stepping to dat place. now lets cut the story short. i dun have a whole day k.

well, i'm meeting kak ana and her guy tagged along wit her adek angkat which i saw before from my 2nd clubbing session. he was damn gatal wit me. n i'm not ok wit dat coz he is NEVER! wat i meant was he was not handsome. he had those manly look but wat turns me of is dat he was quite childish and cheeky towards me. i was expecting a 'abang2' kind u noe those who chill in a corner and keep staring at u as if u are the only heartmelting girl there among the others.. fuuhh! takleh angkat! so dis time, i bring my ex, hezri along. he is the most handsome ex i had. but we are still gd frens till now. so, meeting hezri at ct hall n i'm taking a train from lakeside. i didnt actuali observed ppl around me u noe. the train arrived n stepped into it try to maintain ayu coz u noe, last cabin.. hehe! but no seat for me. haiz. got to stand by the door waiting for any asshole to alight. after 2 stns, ppl were alighting and i dashed to this only seat left. theres a mat beside but i juz pretend i never see n sit. quite a long journey so i decided take a book and read. (wat the fuck sia did i brought the book to club!!!) so after dat, i was feeling uneasy sitting beside to dis mat melayu who i sense was glancing at me. maybe he tink its funny for a girl in that outfit reading a book. haha! ok. theres someting going to happened between me and dat guy. i will continue in my next post. tata!

Purred at @ 11:23 AM 0 comments