eNtRy gUe
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
i juz don get it.. y muz family interfere wit the life dat i will go thru alone?? y muz i have to sacrifice my life juz to make them happy. i noe i have to make them happy but with regards to the person who i'm going to spend my life wit is a big deal!! i have to make my own choice and i noe who will make me happy n how my life will be thereafter.. if i'm marrying someone who can make my family happy but not me, den adopt dat person!!
it is my biggest mistake for making dis choice. i've make a commitment which i cant and i noe i can't commit. all thks to my stupid thinking dat i have to get married before i reach 25. wat the fuck!! i'm not even mature yet to have my own life and my own problems adding on to the biggest problem of all, to accept the other party.
i noe they are disappointed wit me rite now but before its too late, i have to make a decision before i regret for the rest of my life. dis is abt my life dat i'm concern.
they thot dat i'm happy with the life i'm in but they have no fucking idea!! all they can see in front of them is a happy couple but they cant see wats beneath it.
all the excitement dat they saw was juz an immature girl cant wait to get the feeling of being dolled up n being a queen of the day but the excitement will only last on the wedding dat itself. reality will come after dat which i'm not ready to face it yet.
its not juz solving the problems together but the fact that u are the problem wen u are together.
so wat if broke off dis engagement?? u wan to blame me or blame god for showing me to the other direction dat my lifetime companion was not him but someone else? for giving me dis courage to call it off after years of trying.. so am i a bait to gain happiness for the family?? so wats the point of god giving us test in relationship.
u wana blame me for leaving him coz of someone else?? dat someone else was the one who love me terribly who i left him for no reason n waited for me for 5 years. dats wat u call fate.. the person who can match my life wit. the person who i feel its really me wen i'm wit him but not being someone else.
it is so fucking irritating wen family concerns other ppl's heart rather than heart from their flesh n blood.
Purred at @
8:28 PM
