eNtRy gUe
Monday, May 11, 2009
haiz.. keep thinking of shila lately. after her accident, i cant even keep myself concerntrate at werk. even though she have a fuck up attitude, i still love her like the rest of my sisters. i wonder how is she doing rite now. whether she is sleeping or enduring the pain. sometimes i juz cant avoid not visiting her at the hospital. my family might think dat i didnt care but the truth is, i cant accept the fact dat my sister is lying in pain with her face not looking the same as she used to have. i'm kindda sensitive so i cant see all this things happen to my family. even during the time my paternal grandma pass away in the middle of the night, i have to pretend dat i'm sleepy coz i cant see her wen she is no longer breathing n no matter how i try to wake her up, her soul is no longer there. so i have to mantain my ego by pretending to sleep wen i'm actually crying and blaming god for taking her away..
so i juz have to wait for shila at hme wen she comes back. feel sad for mohd also. heard dat his condition is worst. i juz cant look at them in dat state. i will cry u noe! so dun ever force me to visit them at the hospital! anyway, hope dat they get well soon. n i dun noe why all these muz happen after they being kind enough to go through trouble helping me n ayg get a bike.
anyway, after dis incident, i told ayg to ride carefully. if he said he is sleepy, i will forbid him riding. everytime i pillioned his bike, i cant keep my mind off shila's accident.
my wedding is 7 mths away n i hope me n ayg will get married as planned. n after dat, i want him to sell off his bike n drive a car instead. i cant bear to handle such accidents again..
Purred at @
4:17 AM
