eNtRy gUe
Sunday, October 21, 2007
good morning starshine! earth says hello!
haha! juz come back from my last midnight shift of the week. so tiring but its ok i'm fine though. feels great last nite wen i blow off this bloody asshole human being who tried their best to check in without any IC. wat the fuck sia. they think i will let them off easily? they can kiss my ass! haha! feel sorry for making them feel irritated yesterday but i'm doing my job.
i really dun quite realise that dis few season i get irritated and mad easily. and i mean very easy. during mood swings, it gets even worse but really, its out of my control. i've been like dis ever since before i knew ayg. easy said, ever since i'm with dis mangkok known as sakai. well, he is a matrep and i thought i might had been influenced by his life. u noe, they kinda pissed off easily over small little things. and my character realli change. i dare to blow people off wen they make me unhappy. even if sakai pissed me, i blew his head off too. dats why i think i'm not scared with anybody anymore. aside from my siblings especially mira who will describe me as a fierce sister of her who will really shout in her frightened innocent face wen she did something that really rises my temperature.
yeah there it goes. i cant control my anger. even strangers who purposely hit my butt in a crowded place, i will really looked back and " hoi! c***i !" and to those irritating sleepyheads in a train who will doze off any second gonna lie onto my shoulder i will definitely hit them by the side to wake them up.
so, i'm not like those dumber who will put her head down and do wat as she was told without even thinking that others are trying to fool her. maybe that was before and someone did changed my life. but the disadvantage is, i must not go to far by losing respect to others especially ayg. throughout my relationship with him, i've been scolding and raising my voice to him which i noe it is completely wrong! i've been too demanding and too strict towards him. but still, hanging on for the sake of love. its true wat he always told me. if i'm with other guy, he might had leave me coz of my attitude. i really damn appreciate his sacrifices. i cant imagine how my life will be like without someone like him.
but i'm sure one day, he will adapt to who i am and wat i am and i think he already did. the end.
ceh2. ending dah mcm novel lak. klah dozing off now.. zzzzzzzz
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9:20 AM
Saturday, October 20, 2007
here i am again blogging. i'm hme from my nite shift. the time now is exactly 0848hrs in the morning and as for the weather, its raining and cold out there rite outside the window infront of me. thks God, i will sure to treasure my sleep later.
its good to be at home and i mean my own home. this will offend ayg but accept the fact that there's no place like home. this is the dilemma i'm having rite now. ayg need me as much as my family needs me ( i think.. ......... hey!! of coz lah! dun tell me they dun need me and will run away from home!)
frankly, i really wants to stay as long as i want with him but to think of it, i still wants to be with my family which i treasure so much lately ( coz i noe i will miss all the fun and laughter with them. *sorry abah, that excludes u* after i'm married to ayg in 2 years time). its so sad thinking of it actuali. i will stay away from my mum & siblings. in the other hand, i'm happy to live with ayg throughout the rest of my life. i realli love him as much as i love my family. now dats a confession u will never hear it from my mouth. if only we can stay under one roof. ayg and my family. cant imagine the havoc.
ok cukop! nanti tak pasal2 nangis lak sal touching sgt. heee...
*yawning* kk my eyes are demanding to be shut. dah takleh continue. nanti tertido blog tak post uat penat jek ako type. sweet dreamz to me!
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8:47 AM